I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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