we're chasing vodka with high fives
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
