Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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