Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize