ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
