How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
