How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
