y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
