I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The beer is more important than you right now.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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