I'm so fucking centered right now
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
