She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
