Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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