Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Boobs speak an international language.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
