I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
