Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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