I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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