My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
