I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
