i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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