Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize