just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just google imaged poop.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
