Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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