She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
