whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
