i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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