I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize