1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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