Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
