Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
