Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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