Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
