Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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