i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
