who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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