I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
