She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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