just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
