when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
