no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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