Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
