Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
