Nicole vs. Life
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
