Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
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