yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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