oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
