Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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