Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
