But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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