do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
