I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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