I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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