he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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