went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
