Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
