I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
