haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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