He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
