would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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