Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I need a beard to bite.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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