Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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