I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
