Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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