Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Drake has all the answers
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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